


Fire and Snow

by SonyB89



Category: The Great Wall (2017)
Genre: Cute, Eventual Romance, F/M, Gen, Medieval Medicine, Pero Tovar deserves Love, Pero x Original Female Character, Romantic Friendship, Slow Burn, pedro pascal fandom - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:08:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28722630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonyB89/pseuds/SonyB89
Summary: Pero and William are on their way home through the duchy of Austria, in search of a place to wait out the winter.They find a woman in need on the side of the road - an Pero doesn't like that he is smitten from the first moment that he lays eyes on her.
Relationships: Pero Tovar / Original Female Character
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Pero deserves more love - so I will give it to him!  
> Post-Movie.

**Fire and Snow**

Pero Tovar might not have looked like someone who liked snow, but he secretly did.  
Landscapes covered in snow had something tranquil and peaceful to them. Everything slowed down, you could finally focus on your own thoughts – and enemies were far easier to spot in the white background.

It had been months since they’d left the Wall, headed home. Now, as he and William made their way through Europe, winter had started and covered the forests and mountains they traveled through in a thick blanket of snow.

“What’s this place called again?”, he asked, adjusting his cloak. He could see the breath of his horse in the air as it trotted along the snow covered trail.

“I’m not sure. I do know they speak german though.”

Pero grunted. “My german is non-existent.”

“Well, you’ll have to get used to it. We have to find a place to stay for the winter. I doubt we can cross the mountain passes anytime soon.”

Pero didn’t like being stuck at one place for more than a few days, but he knew that they would have little choice.  
If they weren’t completely wrong, the date should be December-something – they had the whole of winter ahead of them.  
And right about now, a place to sleep that was not outdoors sounded really good.

He wanted to reply , when movement ahead of the road caught his eye.  
A young boy was picking up his pace, waving at them, saying something in that german tongue of his that he didn’t understand.

“What’s wrong, young one?”, Will asked, slowly, in hope that the young boy would understand him, even though he spoke English.  
Peros hand slowly travelled to his sword. It was not unheard of that bandits sent kids as bait to rob travelers.

To their surprise, the boy (he could not have been older than twelve) answered them in flawless English.

“Oh, travellers from afar? Excellent. I am in need of help.”

William looked the boy over. He was wearing expensive clothing of high quality and carried a leather satchel under his coat. He was shivering, but his cheeks were rosy and he looked healthy.

“I was driving along the road with my elder sister on our cart when the wheel broke and she got thrown off. I’m afraid she hurt her leg and can’t walk back to the village. And I’m afraid our pony won’t support both our weight.”

“So you need help to get back to your village?”

The boy nodded, standing up straight, trying to look serious.

“I can pay, of course.”

William exchanged a questioning look with Pero, who nodded. The boy didn’t seem suspicious. And if there was a lady in distress ahead on the road, he had to check.

“What’s your name, boy?”, William asked, extending a hand to lift the blonde youngling up to his horse.

“Gilbert, sir.”

“Well then, Gilbert. How far is it to the village?”

The boy settled in behind William.

“It would have taken us another hour by cart. It’s getting dark in about three hours. We should be able to make it before the gates close.”

Gilbert was able to answer some of their questions. They were indeed on the road in the duchy of Austria and it was the middle of December. His father seemed to be a rich merchant and practically owned half of the town they were about to enter.

It didn’t take long for them to reach a treacherous curve in the road, where a turned over wagon was lying in a ditch with a broken wheel.  
On a boulder on the side of the road sat a cloaked, shivering figure.

“Yolanda!”, Gilbert shouted, making the figure shift. She lifted her hood and Pero was met with the most astonishing sight he’d ever seen.  
The womans hair was the color of liquid copper, her curls a wild nest on her head. Her eyes were a piercing green that put every spring leaf to shame and her smile was brighter than the sun.

He could see from afar that she had a soft, plush physique. Not like the women he normally saw, this lady actually had some healthy meat on her bones.  
He realized that he was staring when the woman waved at him, the shy smile on her face curious.

Gilbert had swung off Williams horse, who had also dismounted. Pero did the same.

“This is my sister, Yolanda.”

“How are you doing, Miss?”, William asked, carefully stepping around the wagon to see if he could repair something.  
Gilbert when to a nearby tree, where a pony was tied to a branch.

“She has no voice to speak with, sir. She was born mute. But she is proficient in your language, so she understands you.”

Pero was still mesmerized. Never had he seen hair in this colour and a woman that radiated kindness and sweetness as much as she did. And innocence. He had the urge to protect this creature with his last breath if need be. And she couldn’t even speak, which was good for him. He was sure that a single word from her would have enchanted him.

He stomped through the snow to reach her and kneeled in front of her, holding out his hands towards her leg.

“May I, Señora?”

The most adorable blush covered the womans cheek, who, he noticed, was much older than the young boy. If he had to guess, which he would never – one did not guess the age of a woman - she was at least twice the boys age, between 25 or 30. She was old enough to be his mother.

She nodded, shifting a little to make it easier for him to check on her leg.  
Slowly and steadily, he helped her out of her boot. She was wearing thick stockings of wool in white. No blood had seeped through, which was a good sign.  
As if handling a raw egg, Pero carefully placed her foot in his hands and moved it.  
  


A hiss escaped the womans lips.

“I don’t think it is broken”, he mumbled, “just a nasty sprain. You should feel better in a few days.”

He stood back up. The woman was clutching her boot to her chest. There was no way she could get it on again. Thankfully the stockings were thick enough.

“The wagon is beyond simple repair”, William said, “they’ll have to return for it later.”

Gilbert sighed. “Father will not be pleased.”

“We should move”, Pero said. “I am sorry, Señora, but I will have to inconvenience you by having you share my horse with me.”

Yolanda turned to her brother, placed her boot on her knees and threw her hands around in the air at an incredible speed. Gilbert chuckled.

“She says she would be honored to ride with a gentleman such as yourself”, he translated.

“She talks with her hands?”, William asked, while Pero tried to suppress a smirk.

“It is called sign language”, Gilbert explained. “It is how mute and deaf people communicate.”

Pero bent down again, extending his arms. “Hold onto me.”

She gave her boot to her brother before placing her hands around his neck.  
A little adorable squeak escaped her throat as he picked her up as if she weighed nothing and carried her to his stallion, helping her up.

William and Gilbert mounted as well and they were off, through the snow. The pony was tied to Willams reins so it could trot beside them.

  
Pero tried to ignore the warmth that settled in his stomach when he felt Yolanda wrapping her arms around his frame, clinging to him.

* * *

Two hours later the light began to fade, but the city was finally in sight. The snow trail had been replaced with icy cobblestones.

It seemed to be a town with people who were living in comfort. Pero didn’t see a single beggar on the way into the city center.  
The market was still in full swing, fires were lit and people were merry and in a good mood.

Gilbert and Yolanda were greeted by a lot of townspeople as they rode into a more secluded area of the city, with estates that had their own stables and cottages for servants.  
The young boy bade them to ride towards a hill, where a house that looked more than a castle was throning above the city. 

They were let through into a large courtyard, where they were immediately met bystableboys, maids and other servants who asked questions and eyed him and William with distrust.

Gilbert, despite his young age, was obviously the young master. He sent the servants to get to work and hopped off the horse.

Pero dismounted and helped the young lady off his horse.  
Two maids hurried over, but didn’t dare to come close to his imposing form.

Gilbert turned to them and spoke, before turning to Pero.  
“The maids will take care of my sister now. I’ve sent Yorik to tell my father that we are home. He wants to see me right away. Your horses will be looked after.”

Pero gently set Yolanda down, who was immediately helped inside the house by the two maids. Before she disappeared through the doors, she looked over her shoulder again to smile at him. It took all his willpower not to smile back. He had an image to protect.

Will tapped him on the shoulder and they followed the young boy into the house.  
Fires were lit everywhere, thick tapestries hung from the walls and expensive furniture was found everywhere.

Gilbert led them to a spacious dining hall, where a man was pacing an imposing fireplace. He looked to be about sixty, but still fit and wearing expensive clothing.

“Gilbert!”

The boy ran towards him and was embraced in a hug, before having the man ruffing his hair. The boy turned.  
“Father, these gentlemen came to our aid and helped us back to the village. William and Pero.”

The man extended his hand first to William and then to him. He had a firm handshake and a disarming smile.

“You have my thanks for bringing my children back to me. I understand my boy promised you payment.”

Pero surprised even himself when he answered: “No payment necessary.”

The man chuckled and looked outside the window.

“Then I simply must insist that you join us for dinner and stay the night. I will not send the two travellers who picked up my children to search for a place to sleep in this weather. Yorik?”

A man who had been standing in the shadows stepped forward and Pero picked him to be a personal guard. He had the air of a soldier on him.

“These men will be staying as our honored guests. Please see them to their rooms.”

With the promise of dinner in an hours time, William and Pero left after the soldier deeper into the house.  
They were given adjoining rooms, their sparce luggage having been brought up. Pero almost groaned in delight when he saw that he was given a room with a proper bed.  
After sleeping rough under the stars for months, the prospect on not feeling stones or branches underneath him was one he was looking forward to.

Someone had also filled a basin with warm, scented water that smelled of pine needles and a wash cloth on a simple table.  
Before he could disrobe, a maid came in with a bundle of clothes in her hands.

“My master hopes that these will fit. If you wish for me to wash your clothes, please leave them in the basket by the door for me.”

She disappeared before he could answer.

* * *

  
  
He felt ten years younger when he joined William on his way down to dinner.  
The clothes fit him like a glove. He was washed, shaved and the stink of the road had been left in the basket with his traveling clothes.

“Since when do you know how to be a gentleman?”, William asked as they descended the stairs.

“What the fuck do you mean?”

He chuckled.

“ _May I, Señora? I am sorry, Señora, but I will have to inconvenience you by having you share my horse with me_. You’re smitten.”

“Oi, I know how to fuckin’ talk to a lady.”

“Whatever you say.”

Together they entered the dining hall, where their host and Gilbert were already sitting, together with Yolanda, who had changed into a forest green dress.  
Her hair had been braided and she was reading a book.

They all lifted their heads, and there it was again. The expressive smile that made his breath hitch. William smirked and slightly punched him in the shoulder.  
  
“You’re so done for, Tovar.”

“Shut up, _pendejo_.”

The master of the house stood up and gave his servants a sign to bring in the meal.  
“Ah, our guests of honor. Take a seat, gentlemen.”

William hurried to sit next to the boy, which left Pero to take a seat next to the woman at the last place setting.  
He grumbled before taking a seat on the bench, shooting death glares at William, who just winked at him. He did his best to look extra grumpy.

After months of bread, cheese and the occasional stew at an inn, dinner with the merchant felt like a feast.  
A hearty potato soup with warm bread was followed by roasted meat and vegetables. Fine wine and ale was served.

At last, some pastry was served, which Pero eyed with suspicion.  
Yolanda chuckled, grabbed her fork and separated a piece of pie before holding the fork in front of his mouth.

“All right, all right, I’ll try it”, he grumbled and took the bite, much to her delight. The taste of flaky dough and cherries filled his mouth and he chewed, looking at her.

“’s, good.”

She gloated.

“My sister baked it herself.”, Gilbert then said. “She is a talented cook and often helps with preparation, even though we have more than enough people in the kitchen.”

“Cooking is something every woman should know how to do”, his father said, smiling at his daughter. “Even if she has a household of her own.”

Yolanda sighed and rolled her eyes. Clearly this was a topic often discussed.  
She turned to her own pie and ate in silence. Pero took a peek at her hands and was shocked that he was delighted that she was wearing no wedding band.  
_‘I am not a man to be married. What the hell has gotten into me?’_

The merchant, he had introduced himself as Klaus, told them that he was a trader of spices and owned a salt mine in the mountains, which had made his family very wealthy.

“Yolanda is the daughter of my first wife, god bless her soul. Years later I met Gilberts mother, my second wife, who died in childbirth. We are a small family, but very happy.”

“How is it that you and your household staff speak such good English?”

Gilbert answered for him.

“Merchants need to be proficient in many things. I will take over fathers business someday, so I am learning English, French and Spanish.”

Pero grinned and said: _“¿Como es tu español?_

William grinned, watching the boy with interest.

He seemed to look for the right words for a moment, before he answered _: “No tan bueno como quiero que sea.”_

“Not bad”, Pero said, while Yolanda clapped happily.  
  
She picked up something from the bench next to her. A slate and a piece of chalk. She wrote:

**_“My Spanish is not very good.”_ **

It took Pero a while to decipher the letters. He was a mercenary and had never had a formal education, so he was a slow reader.  
When he finished deciphering, he said: “I would gladly teach you anytime, Señora.”

Another blush crept upon her face. She put her hand to her chin and moved it away from her face.

“That is sign language for thank you”, Gilbert explained.

Conversation continued, until Klaus asked for the plans of the men.

“We are looking for a place to stay for the winter,” William explained. “I doubt the mountain passes are still passable in this weather?”

Klaus shook his head. “We are effectively snowed in for the next three months, I’m afraid.”

Pero groaned. “Three months? Seriously?”

Klaus and his son exchanged looks.

“My son and I were discussing, before you joined us for dinner. In lieu of payment, we would like to offer the two of you a place to stay for the winter.”

William and Pero exchanged surprised looks.

“That is incredibly generous of you, we can’t possibly accept.”

Klaus disagreed.  
“If you wish, you can earn your stay. There is enough work to be found in my household for two strong men. And the inns in this city are way too expensive. Your horses will be taken care of and you can stay until the mountain passes are free again.”

There was nothing else to discuss. They needed a place to stay.

  
The only worry Pero had was that he had to spend three months in the company of a woman that made his heart jump for an unknown reason.

* * *


	2. The Lady of The Boat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please see the NOTES at the end of the fic

The first few days at Klaus Wellers household went by in a blur.

William and Pero were invited to indulge in all the luxuries and comforts that they had to miss out on when on the road, so they spent their time sleeping, resting, finally trimming beards and hair to a civilized length and spend time drinking and eating their fill.

Pero didn’t see much of Karls children. Gilbert was focusing on his studies and Yolanda was nursing her bruised ankle in the privacy of her quarters.

On the fifth day of their stay, the two finally joined them again for a dinner and Yolanda was able to walk by herself again.   
She was even able to storm into a room, which she did.   
  
Her steps a fast staccato on the floor, her eyes holding a storm and her hair like a frenzy cloud, she stomped towards her father and handed him a crumpled letter, before starting to pace through the dining room like a caged animal.

Her rage left her in waves, and Pero had to admit that he thought she looked even more radiant when she was angry.

“Are you alright, _Señora_?”, he asked, turning on the bench.

Only now did she seem to realize that her fathers guests were in the room as well, because she blushed and stopped pacing.   
She shook her head, pointing at the letter and then clenching her fists again.

“What is it?”, William enquired, looking at his host, whose face had darkened, a deep frown on his face.

“It’s a letter from the mayor…”, he groaned. There was murder in his eyes. “That bastard.”

Gilbert snapped the letter and read through it.  
“How dare he...”

“Should we leave?”, William asked. “Is this a family matter?”

Klaus looked up and Pero swore that he could see his mind at work.

“No”, he said. “You will witness the festival in a few days anyway, no need to step out.”

At her fathers words Yolandas eyes widened in shock, her gaze shifting from William and finally to Tovar.

Her father bade her to sit down and handed her a glass of wine.

“There is a tradition in our city that has been practiced for the last eighthundred years,” he began.   
“At that time, invaders from the north flooded our city and robbed our ancestors of all women of marrying age. The only women who were spared were the ones who were protected by their brothers or protectors.”

Pero did not like where this was going.   
From the corner of his eye, he could see the slight shiver that had taken over Yolandas body.

“In the year that followed, however, the crops were richer than ever and almost all the women who had been saved from the intruders gave birth to healthy children. Ever since then, on the anniversary of the eve of the raid, we hold a festival. Superstitious nonsense, really, to ask for fertility and good fortune in the year to come.”

Gilbert continued the tale.

“On this night, the women are dressed in white dresses and crowned with the last flowers of autumn. They are placed as > _bait_ < all over the city and have to stay there all night until the first rays of sun come out. They are to be tended to by their protectors, to shield them from harm and bring them back home safely.”

It sounded like a nice tradition, Pero thought. He knew such traditions from his travels and normally these festivals were a time of celebration and merriment.   
But the fact that none of the Wellers were happy about this letter told him that there was a catch.

“Up until now”, Klaus continued, “Yorik was Yolandas protector. But he got married this past year and is now no longer suitable to shield a maid. And Gilbert is still too young to serve as a protector.”

“Can’t you do it?”, William asked.

Klaus shook his head.   
“The fathers were out fighting the invaders on this night and could not stand to protect the women. Tradition dictates that every woman unprotected can be captured and declared as ones own on the next day.”

He sighed.

“We had planned for a cousin of ours to come and protect Yolanda this year, but that will now be impossible.”

“Why?”, Pero asked, wanting to say something to distract himself from the stormy eyes of the woman next to him.

“Because the mayor has bestowed upon my daughter the > _honour_ <”, he spat the word out, “to be the lady of the boat this year.”

“The Lady of the Boat?”

The fire crackled in the fireplace.   
Klaus stood up and bade his guests to follow him to the window. In the distance, downhill, they could see the shore of a big lake that was surrounded by the mountains.

“Do you see the lake? Some of the women protected themselves by entering boats and floating out. Every year a woman is sent out in a boat, in the dead of winter, with no fire of course. And the lady of the boat is only allowed to bring a single knight for her protection. A knight that is not a family member. Either that or she goes alone.”

Gilbert sighed.

“The mayor knows that it’s the law to follow this particular tradition. He wants to punish my sister.”

“Punish her for what?”, Pero growled.

A small proud smile crept upon his face.

“The mayors son once tried to spread the rumor that my sister was a... uhm... _lady of questionable morals_. But nobody believed him. Especially after she kicked his most private parts in the middle of the tavern.”

“So this mayor forces her to row out onto the freezing lake and spend the night there, just because she humiliated his son?”, William asked.

“Exactly.”

“How do the other boat ladies survive every year?”, Pero asked.

“Their families secretly hire another boat that is filled with warm food, felts and other comforts on the lake, so that the women don’t freeze to death. But the mayor has to _> look the other way<_ every year for that. Something tells me that he will not do that this year.”

Pero looked at Yolanda. Picturing her in a white dress with flowers in her hair – but shivering from the cold winters air and possible snow made his heart clench in his chest.

“So what you need is someone to sail with her and spend the night with her on the lake, to keep her warm and is not a family member?”, he asked.

Klaus nodded. “The thing is, if I hire a knight now to protect her, without knowing him, I don’t know if I send her out onto the lake with someone who might have… _intentions_ …”

Then it dawned on them.   
A woman, on a boat, with a stranger – _alone_. A stranger who, if he took his liberties with the woman, could claim her as his bride by law if he wanted to.   
That was the real crux of the problem.

William and Pero exchanged glances and the Spaniard hated that his friend had a spark in his eyes.

“If you trust us enough with your daughter, we could help?”, William said, making Klaus stop in his pacing.   
Apparently, the option had not even occurred to him.

“I… I could not possibly ask this of you. And I’m afraid I can’t afford it. Protection during the night of the White Ladies costs a fortune…”

“Letting us stay here for the winter is payment enough”, William volunteered for both of them. “We’ll be glad to help.”

* * *

A whole night on a tiny boat, on a freezing cold lake, with a beautiful woman who couldn’t speak. What could possibly go wrong?

  
Five days later, Pero held the reins of his horse and led it down the cobblestone road to the lake, Yolanda on the back of his animal.

William and his trusty bow were following them in the shadows.   
He would spend the night on the shore, keeping a lookout for any shenanigans the mayor or his son could have planned. Klaus and Gilbert were walking behind them, ready to send their daughter off into the freezing night with him.

The townspeople were watching and waving at Yolanda, knowing what > _honour_ < had be bestowed upon her.   
They were eyeing Pero with distrust and suspicion, but he didn’t notice.   
He faces the road, looking straight forward, to avoid the radiant figure on his horse.

Yolandas ginger hair seemed to glow today, falling past her shoulders in waves.   
She was wearing a crown of flowers, a simple white dress and no shoes as was custom.  
She was already shivering and he could only wrap her in his cloak once they were out on the lake.

Gilbert was carrying a lantern – the only source of light they were allowed for the night – and Klaus carried a basket with food and wine.  
In the folds of his cloak Yolandas slate and chalk were hidden, so she could communicate with him.

With only thirty minutes to nightfall, they arrived at the pier.   
Klaus put the basket in the small boat, placed the lantern on it and turned to his daughter.

Pero gave him the reigns for his horse before stretching his arms out to help the shivering woman off the saddle. If she blushed because of the cold or because of his touch, he couldn’t know.

Klaus kissed his daughter goodbye.  
“I will come and fetch you in ten hours, my love.”

Her father turned to Pero, his face grim.  
“I am placing my daughters welfare and innocence in your hands, good sir.”

Pero just nodded, climbed into the boat and held out his hand to help Yolanda into it.  
Once she sat, he pushed the swimming prison onto the lake and started rowing.

It took a while until he couldn’t see the shore anymore, and as soon as it was dark enough, he stopped rowing, took the cloak from his shoulders and wrapped the shivering woman in it.  
He rummaged through the basked and found a pair of thick woolen socks.

“It’s alright, _Señora_. You’ll be warm in just a few minutes.”

She gifted him a shy smile while snuggling into his warm cloak, making herself as small as possible while he softly slipped the woolen socks over her dainty feet.

Night was falling fast, and soon the only light came from the flickering lantern.   
But the night was far from dark. As the landscape was still covered in snow, the stars and the moon were lighting up their surroundings.  
It was beautiful.

Yolanda had warmed up a bit. Settling her slate on her knees, she wrote something with the chalk and handed it to him.

**_Thank you for doing this._ **

“It is my honour, _hermosa_ ”, he said, and almost swallowed his tongue. That should not have slipped out of his throat.

Yolanda blushed. As bad as her Spanish was, she knew what _that_ meant.

 ** _Tell me something about yourself_** , she wrote.

“There is nothing to tell”, he simply said, which put a pout on her face.

**_Then ask me something._ **

“Why is a woman like you not yet promised to someone?”, he said and the cursed inwardly _.  
  
What was wrong with him today?! Why did this woman have such a disarming effect on him?_

“Apologies”, he mumbled. “It is none of my business.”

Yolanda shook her head, making her copper hair dance and shine in the firelight.

She wiped the slate clean and started writing.

**_Men do not want damaged goods._ **

Pero growled, angry.

“You are not damaged goods, _Señora_.”

Yolanda shrugged.

**_I am a woman who could not even sing her own children to sleep._ **

“Then make your future husband sing to them.”

A strange light took over her eyes. She once again wiped the slate clean, suddenly giddy.

She slowly crawled to his side of the boat, sitting next to him, their thighs touching.

**_Will you sing to me? I want to know how it feels._ **

“You want me to sing?”

She nodded enthusiastically.

He gulped.

“A-Alright. But I must warn you, _Señora_ , I’m not very good.”

_“Gaze at the person across from you now_

_Feel the sweet spark of connection_

_If you don’t screw up this moment somehow_

_Maybe, you won’t die alone”_

_Mierda, why did I start singing this stupid song? It’s a ridiculous song for men on the road!_

But somehow it had been the only song on his mind.

It was too late.   
And as soon as he had started singing with his deep baritone voice, Yolanda had pressed her head against his chest.   
She was listening, yes, but even more so, she wanted to feel the vibrations of his body while singing.  
  
And honestly, he felt like a blushing _virgin_.

As he sang on and continued with the ridiculous lyrics, she chuckled, obviously amused by the song.

The song wasn’t very long and soon reached it’s end.  
Peros hands were clutching his knee on the one side and the bench on the other, his knuckles white. He didn’t dare move or touch her in any way - but he wanted to.  
  
Yolandas head was still resting over his heart.

Somehow he looked down as she looked up, the light of the lantern enhancing the beauty of her eyes and the pink hue on her lips.

His heart started hammering as she slowly leaned even closer to him.

W-Was she about to kiss him?

_Was he about to kiss her?!_

He could not remember afterwards, because before their lips cold touch, an arrow flew past them, grazing his shoulder, burying itself into the boat.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright - i borrowed the song "Serenade" from the show GALAVANT.  
> The text is silly - but i just LOVE this song, and thinking about Pero of all people singing this, made me laugh really hard. It's hilarious

**Author's Note:**

> My spanish is non-existent so i tried to translate the spanish parts as best as I could .


End file.
